As a mom of three daughters, I have no idea
what it’s like to raise a son. At this point, I may never know, and I am no
longer wistful about it, especially when I look at the bright side. For starters, one major benefit, which really isn't all that exclusive to females or males, is the ability to pass down an entire
wardrobe – among other things like toys, hair accessories and entertainment -- from
one daughter to the other. It’s
certainly a temporary benefit, at least until middle school when it won’t be so
cool to wear to your older sister’s hand-me-downs, let alone clothes from last
season. There are so many other advantages. While many are cliché and have been
accumulated by word of mouth over the years, they all somewhat ring true. Check
out some of the other advantages to having an all-girl family.
1. Lower car
insurance for females. Who knows why insurance companies charge higher
rates for male drivers? Perhaps, girls are not big risk takers (see #4).
Whoever said that hasn’t met my two-year-old. In any case, with the probability
of three teenage drivers in our house at one time, I’ll welcome the lower premiums.
2. Cheaper
grocery store bills. As a general rule, girls eat much less than boys. I
would argue this advantage only comes into play later in life. In my
observation, small children (under the age of five) regardless of gender, eat
about the same amount of food. Teenage boys, especially athletic ones, can eat
as much as a small village.
3. Girls
smell a lot better. By the time a girl turns three or four years old, she begins
to care about her hygiene…a lot more than a boy would. Of course, there are
exceptions to the rule. Just visit a middle school girls’ bathroom! But, in my
experience, I’ve encountered way more foul smelling boys than girls.
4. Your
heart may stay intact by not having to deal with daredevils. As the old saying
goes, boys will be boys. They are rough and tumble -- fearless and spontaneous.
They often live quite recklessly. The advantage to this lifestyle is boys tend
to be ambitious go getters, but they get hurt…a lot! Girls aren’t as prone to
jumping off the top of the roof or driving vehicles at extremely high speeds.
So, I am hoping this means more restful nights for me and less visits to the
hospital although in my five short years of being a parent, I’ve been to urgent
care for falls at least three times.
5. Girls can
be more sensitive to others’ feelings and needs. Girls are emotional, which
many consider a downfall. But, at the same time, emotional people tend to be
more sensitive to others’ feelings. When a loved one is upset or hurt, girls go
out on a limb to help. Particularly for the oldest girl, adopting that
nurturing motherly instinct is almost a given.
6. Girls are
A LOT more talkative. That’s probably good and bad, but for the sake of the
argument I’m making here, I’ll only discuss the good. Female humans in general
tend to be much better at expressing themselves. How they’re feeling and what they
think about anything is never really a secret. As long as your daughter is on
speaking terms with you, she is an open book—even with thoughts you don’t want
to hear. Mine are often quite sassy. For instance, just the other day, my
five-year-old daughter asked me with disdain, “Mommy, are you going to wear
THAT?” On the same token, girls are equally likely to share compliments. With
boys, it’s sometimes hard to figure out how they are feeling, since many are
devoid of emotional display. Again, there are exceptions to the rule.
7. Sleepovers
are just easier when there are no boys in the house. We have plenty of
friends who have both sons and daughters whom we love dearly. However, I can’t
say I would be completely comfortable allowing my girls to attend sleepovers with their sons in the house. The reciprocal isn’t more appealing
either. Imagine if I was the proud mom of a teenage son, and one of my
daughters invited a female friend to spend the night at our house. A non-relative girl sleeping over with my son
under the same roof? I can list a number of reasons why it would make many moms
think twice about it. Perhaps, this girl is just using my daughter to get
closer to my son and plans to seduce him when the lights go down. I’d be on
high alert all night long listening for every peep (lucky for me, I am a superbly
light sleeper)! Of course, I’m generalizing, but that’s the fun of it. For the
parents who allow their daughters to have a sleepover at my house: you can rest
easier since there are no boys living here!
8. Moms have
an advantage with girls since we were girls…once. As an adult woman, I know
what it’s like to be a girl since it wasn’t exactly eons ago that I was one. Some
things have changed over the years. But, for the most part, the growing up
part—becoming your own person and separating from your parents –is all the same.
I understand the need for girls to meticulously
protect their privacy. I understand what it means to be fiercely independent. I
understand that moms have absolutely no idea what they are talking about and
don’t really “get” their daughters. Of
course, none of this will make me any more willing to compromise my beliefs or
the values and morals I expect my girls to exhibit when they leave our home.
But, I will utilize this advantage wisely.
For what it’s worth, it will give me pause before I open my mouth to
nag, lecture, shame, offer unsolicited advice or delve out punishments. Which
brings me to the next one…
9. Daughters
emotionally check out and leave you as teens, but they eventually come back.
Boys and girls both start pulling away from parents as soon as they hit puberty
– or a little earlier. But, once the boys pull away, they’re never yours again
(Sorry moms of sons...it’s true.). Why? Well, when your son gets married,
you’ll have to share him with his wife. Most women really aren’t all that
amenable to sharing the men in their lives, but that’s a topic for another
post. When your son has another woman in his life, it’s difficult to repurpose
your relationship with him into that intimate, profound bond, which many moms
and daughters enjoy (In all honesty, that’s why he has his dad.). If your son
grows up to have his own daughter, you might as well just forget it. For moms
of girls, after your daughter is married, as long as you have forged a
good relationship as adults, you’ll pretty much have her forever—and possibly
unlimited access to your grandkids as a result.
10. Daughters
offer better long-term care options. When I am old and decrepit, most
likely I’ll have a shot at one of my daughters taking me in their home to live.
Shhh…but, I have already secretly selected the daughter with whom I want to
live. She’s also the one most likely to
feel guilty enough to take me in. My husband can live with one of the others.
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